Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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