we're blogging at a bar
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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