sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
