Do you still have your period?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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