But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
