So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
