Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
