Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
