He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
