Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
When are your genitals available?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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