If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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