i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
