I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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