don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
