what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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