"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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