im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
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