Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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