Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
