I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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