Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
