Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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