how can u be prego again
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
