hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
