Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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