shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
