I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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