So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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