so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
