i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
