he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
