belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
