Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
