that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
