Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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