his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it's great music for shaving your balls
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
