Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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