I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
