Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
