Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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