I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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