absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
