I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
