Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
