you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i think i just lost a toe
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
