She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
