Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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