is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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