Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The uberlube is also flammable
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
