Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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