We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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