remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
