My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Someone came in the potted fern
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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