She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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