Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
