i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
