dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
