I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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